3 Phrases Women Love to Hear

Reading Time: 4 minutes

By Michael Avery

Saying “I love you” is essential, but please allow me to pass along three things women love hearing nearly as much. If you’re like most men, you’ve probably hit a “relationship speed bump” or two on your journey through life.

Learning these three phrases and knowing when to say them sincerely, however, will make the road ahead much more enjoyable and a whole lot smoother.

Phrase Number 1: “I Understand”

When your loved one tells you about a disagreement she’s had with a friend or how she is unappreciated at work, surprisingly, she isn’t inviting you to offer suggestions, solve her problem, or fix the situation. She really just wants you to listen. When she is finished, gaze into her eyes and quietly say in a sympathetic tone, “I understand.”

Of course, you want nothing more than to see the women you love feel better instantly. Your motives are genuine. A ready-to-implement solution will likely pop into your mind before she has finished telling you about her day. After all, we’re men and solving problems is what we do almost as well as creating them. I understand (nodding my head sympathetically). After reading this post, I suspect you’ll be tested. 

When the woman you love sits down beside you on the couch, turns to you, and says she is concerned about gaining weight, your first impulse might be to recommend the miraculous new weight loss supplement you heard about recently. Or, you might want to tell her about a chic, yet affordable, fitness club you passed on your way to the Sporting Goods Store. (Now isn’t the time to tell her about the cool new fishing lure you bought.)

Instead of offering an opinion, you might say, “I love you just the way you are!” This will ease her anxiety and make her feel better about herself instantly. The woman you love will appreciate your kind and supportive words. 

You might find another option acceptable if “I understand” feels too passive: “How can I help?” But please don’t start giving advice before she answers your question if you defer to this option.

There is one exception to the “I understand” rule, however. When the woman you love tells you her car is making a funny noise, please feel free to jump right in, ask questions, and take whatever action is necessary to save the day. 

Phrase Number 2: “Whatever You Want, Dear”

This can be an easy one to say or a difficult one, depending upon the subject and how much you care about the outcome of the decision. Either way, be sincere and make eye contact. Respond in a caring tone of voice and not dismissively.

For example, if the woman you love asks which dress she should wear to her high school reunion, you can easily say, “Whatever you want, Dear.” Or, if she asks if you’d like to go out for fish and chips or Mexican food for dinner, you can answer, “Whatever you want, Dear.” 

When it comes to movies, most women don’t like violent, action-packed, car-chasing shows. (Truthfully, neither do I.) As long as the movie the woman you love wants to see hasn’t been given a 2-star review,” I recommend saying, “Whatever you want, Dear.”

It’s only when the stakes are high that offering an opinion is worth the risk of hitting a speed bump. For instance, she might ask, “Would you like to watch “Days of Our Lives” reruns tonight on Netflix or that boring college football game featuring the two top-ranked teams in the country?”

There is a point where you have to draw the line, right? Is watching the “game of the season” it? You’ll have to decide. Ask yourself, “If I call a bold play, will it result in a penalty or draw a red challenge flag?” Perhaps a compromise may be in order. You might negotiate to watch a romantic movie on Friday if you can watch the big game tonight.

Phrase Number 3: “You Were Right, Honey”

I won’t sugar coat it. This is going to be a tough one for many men. You may have to go off into the woods by yourself or on a fishing trip with a support group of buddies while you practice saying “You were right, Honey.”

Studies have shown that mastering Phrase Number 3 can take days, if not weeks, before some men can say it without grimacing.

But, when you finally do master “You were right, Honey” and see the woman you love dancing with glee around the room, you’ll know the end result was well worth the effort. By the way, my wife, Pichaya, is right 99% of the time, so I’ve had plenty of real-time experience saying this phrase.

Conclusion: A New Language

Guys, we’re learning a new language. Whatever we call it is unimportant. The women we love call it “the Language of Listening and Love.” 

And, when you leave the house, be sure to take along a few “Thank You’s, a “Bless You” or two, and a pocketful of “Pleases.” These are the toppings that turn life into a “delicacy of love.”

Oh, and one last thing. Please remember to tell the woman you love how much you appreciate her every day and how beautiful she looks even without makeup. And remember to compliment her when she dresses up for a night on the town and play her a song that will make her heart dance. I recommend “Wonderful Tonight,” by Eric Clapton.

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