3 Simple Ways to Open Your Heart to Love

Reading Time: 5 minutes

By Pichaya Avery

Dear Wonderful Readers,

Do you still remember the time when you first fell in love? If you were like me, you probably couldn’t eat, sleep, or even think of anything but that special person. Your heart was fully open. You felt invincible. You were on top of the world. 

But then, one day, something happened. Your heart was broken. As a result, you became more cautious in pursuing a relationship. You blamed yourself for many things. You created your favorite storylines about what happened and engaged in all kinds of negative self-talk: “I am not good enough, not smart enough, or not worthy of love.”

Now, no matter how deliberately you seek to avoid being in a relationship, life continues to bring you someone or something—animals, plants, or trees—to open your heart once again.

In my former blog, which I wrote thirteen years ago, I offered ten ways to open your heart to love. Since my last article in 2012, numerous changes have occurred in my life. This includes my writing style. Instead of posting the long list here, I would like to share with you three simple ways to keep your heart open to love.

1. Be in the Moment

How often do we spend our time dwelling in the past or worrying about the future, rarely living in the moment? 

When I was in my late thirties, the Universe sent me a friend to teach me the art of living in the present moment. Sinéad is a cancer survivor. She has also experienced severe childhood trauma and her share of adversity. In spite of her painful past and health challenges, she makes a conscious choice to be happy every day.

Sinéad loves to hike and often invites me to go with her. During a five mile outing one autumn morning, I poured out my heart and revealed my secret pain from childhood. She listened with compassion. There was no judgement—only love.

Then, I asked her how she had healed herself.

“By living in the moment,” was her reply.

A few minutes later, as we climbed up a very steep hill, she took me by the hand and led me to a giant oak tree. 

“Have you ever hugged a tree?” Sinéad asked.

I raised my eyebrows and answered, “Never.” 

“Try it,” she urged, wrapping her arms around its trunk and gently kissing the rough brown bark.

I followed her instructions and, surprisingly, it felt as if the tree was hugging me back. 

Sinéad smiled broadly as she pointed to the lush green grass, blue sky, and puffy white clouds. “Don’t you just love the beauty of nature!” she exclaimed in her loving Irish accent. “Don’t you love the warmth of the sun, the kiss of the wind, and the songs of these little birds?”

“I do,” I replied, “but my personal life has been a distraction lately, not to mention memories of my painful past.”

Sinéad looked me in the eyes and spoke in her compassionate tone, “If you want to heal, you need to stop thinking about the past and focus fully in the present.”

“How?” I questioned.

As we entered a country road, Sinéad picked up a distinctive fan-shaped yellow leaf resting on the ground and handed it to me. 

“Do you know what this is?” Sinéad asked.

I shook my head. 

“Gingko,” She told me.

In that moment, I forgot all about my personal drama. Nohing was more important than studying this unique yellow leaf.

“This is what it means to be fully in the moment. Wherever you are, be there and nowhere else,” Sinéad advised. We stopped to pick some plums growing wild along the path. They tasted sweeter than ever.

2. Be of Service

Being of service to others is one of the most powerful ways to open our hearts. It simply means being helpful or useful to someone, especially when they need it most. It can be a small act of kindness—a smile, a touch, a hug, a kind word, or a listening ear. 

I took my three small children to a park on a hundred-degree day. There was only one tree providing shade. During that time, I was confronted with some health challenges. Socializing with others was not on my list.

In the park, there was a river and a peaceful pond. My children were playing in the mud and catching frogs while I read one of my favorite books, Stranger by the River, by Paul Twitchell. Then, a woman arrived with her son, who appeared to be about five years of age. She approached me with a friendly smile and a question, “There is only one shade tree here. May I sit with you?”

Intuitively, I knew she was here to teach me something about love. After a long pause, I replied, “Yes.” 

She told her son to ask my children if he could join them. 

She broke the ice.“Where do you live?” she asked. 

“Up the hill over there.” I pointed to the direction and continued reading the book as to avoid further conversation.

Then, she asked, “What are you reading?”

Feeling a bit uncomfortable, I responded, “It’s a book about love.” 

I gazed up at her and noticed tears in her eyes. She started crying and began telling me about her troubled relationship. I listened attentively. I felt her pain and realized why I was there—to listen and give love.

Before we parted, we exchanged contact information. The next day, I received a message from heron Facebook telling me, “Thank you for listening. You are a godsend.”  

3. Be Grateful

Gratitude opens our hearts in miraculous ways. When we count our blessings and give thanks for everything in our lives, including challenges, adversity, and undesirable experiences, not only do we become happier, but we also healthier in mind, body, and spirit. With an attitude of gratitude, we can rise above any negativity and see everything from a higher perspective. When viewed through the eyes of love, stumbling blocks become stepping stones.

My grandmother was one of the most influential people in my life. She taught me an important lessson about gratitude. She was always happy, regardless of her many challenges. She never complained. When someone broke her heart, instead of feeling justified in her anger, she accepted the situation with grace, knowing that everything happens for a reason—to learn how to love.

When I was a teenager, my heart was broken multiple times. I felt victimized. I blamed everyone and everything, including myself. Back then, I didn’t know any better.

Thiry years later, I was still blaming myself for failing in my relationships and not being good enough. No wonder I was so unhappy before I met Sinéad.

One summer morning during our seven mile hike, I told Sinéad how much I disliked myself and complained about my “ugly shaped toes.”

“Be grateful that you have feet,” she reminded me. “Be grateful that you have clean, fresh air to breath. Be grateful for the opportunity to learn, grow, and become the person you are here to be.”

In conclusion, I would like to share with you one of my favorite songs that has helped me over the years when I was feeling down. It’s called “Stones in My Path,” written and sung by Nancy McGimsey. Her beautiful voice and lyrics touched my heart so deeply that I cried with happy tears. If this song can open my heart, it can do the same for yours.

With love and gratitude,
Pichaya