By Pichaya Avery
from The Golden Book of HU, pp. 76-77, by Michael and Pichaya Avery
“The only way out is through.” It was the answer from the Inner Teacher, who appeared in a vivid dream one night in response to my request for healing. I had poured out my heart to the Inner Teacher expressing what had been troubling me for several months prior to this powerful dream.
The chronic depression, challenges with relationships, and suffering from Bulimia that I had been experiencing for over a decade, had become overwhelming. Twice before, I had entertained suicidal thoughts. Reaching my limit, I wished to leave this earth forever.
In my dream, I was walking through the Valley of Darkness. The night was long and full of terrors. I stumbled. I cried. I feared. I doubted that I would have the strength to carry on as I traveled this lonely path.
It was nearly dawn when the golden rays of the sun began to rise above the majestic mountain before me. The summit was higher than Mt. Hood in Oregon, which is approximately ten thousand feet in elevation.
As I drew closer, I noticed something strange about this peak. It was not decorated with green grass, colorful flowers, or glistening snow, but was covered with miscellaneous objects. Besides giant piles of junk food, there were dirty rags, old clothes, torn shoes, dented suitcases, and broken wooden closets. They looked familiar. Then it struck me; these objects had once been mine.
I was puzzled as to why my personal belongings had been scattered on this mountaintop. In the midst of my confusion, a gentle wind from the mountain blew softly in my direction. Instead of the delightful fragrance of wildflowers, it brought the putrefying stench of decaying waste. Suddenly, I realized that I was standing in front of a massive landfill. It symbolized my karma which had accumulated over many lifetimes.
For several moments, I stared intently at this towering mountain thinking to myself, “There is no way to go over, under, or around it.” My heart sank. Feeling hopeless, I wept uncontrollably and fell to my knees. I punched the sharp-edged gravel with my fist. “I can’t go on anymore,” I shouted.
Then, I heard a familiar voice. “The only way out is through.”
I looked up, and my eyes met the Inner Teacher’s electrifying gaze. Tilting his head toward the mountain, he spoke compassionately, “You created all of this.” There was no condemnation in his voice, only love.
I wiped my tears with my bleeding hand and asked, “How can I work off my karma?”
“Take full responsibility, serve life with love, and do everything in the name of the Inner Teacher,” was his reply.
As I was awakening from my dream, the Inner Teacher reminded me, “Be assured of my love, for I am always with you until the end of time.”
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