What Would Love Do?

Reading Time: 4 minutes

By Pichaya Avery

If you had seven days to live, what would you do? Who would you call? What would you say? How would you spend your time? With whom?” 

After contemplation one morning, I pondered these questions and discussed them with Michael. We affectionately call our early morning sessions where we share insights about life and spirituality, “Conversations with Honey.” Waking dreams and relationships are always our favorite subjects. On this day, however, “Living Life to the Fullest” happened to be our topic of the day. 

One of our greatest joys—in addition to writing—is observing wild ducks in a peaceful pond. Each spring, baby ducklings are born. Our hearts jump with joy whenever we see them. 

Each fresh new batch reminds us of new beginnings, new learning experiences, and new levels of awareness. But, sadly, our joy is short-lived.

Since we began watching them in 2019, none of the babies survived beyond a few weeks. This waking dream reminds us to embrace life now. Every moment is golden. It slips away in the blink of an eye. 

What Would Love Do? 

Reflecting on the significance of “now” and how swiftly time passes, it became clear that I needed to take a trip to Thailand and visit my beloved mom. The last time I had seen her was in 2015. This would mean being apart from Michael for an entire month. In spite of the painful separation and many inconveniences, Michael agreed that it was important and necessary.  

Although I was ecstatically happy to see my mom and the rest of my family, it felt strange to return home where there was no father to greet me. He made his peaceful transition in 2021. 

The relationship with my father was not always rainbows and roses. After holding on to anger, bitterness, and grudges for over forty years, I finally learned how to love him. Forgiveness is an essential key to love. 

“I Love You.” 

When I was young, I never said “I love you” to those I loved—even to the most loving people in the world—my mother and grandmother. Mainly, it was because of how I was raised in a culture where we are taught to withhold our feelings. 

Time has passed. 

Through trials and errors, life has taught me how to love—not only in giving love, but in receiving it as well. 

My three beautiful children are my greatest teachers. Saying “I love you” became natural for me. I told them I love them every single day. 

Now they live far away. I do the best I can to connect with them through texts and FaceTime and tell them how much I love them. I truly miss them. 

Admittedly, I miss the time when they were babies and would fall sleep in my arms. I miss the times when I watched them sleeping and told myself, “How blessed I am to be their mom. They are my precious gifts from heaven.” 

Recently, Jamie, my oldest daughter, has made a request for us to connect through letters—an old-fashioned, yet personal, way of correspondence which we both enjoy. We both love beautiful words and poems, and this is another way of saying, “I love you.” 

I miss the time when they were tiny, yet, I am learning to embrace and celebrate their adulthood at this stage where they are right now—responsible, happy, and free. 

Going the Extra Mile for Love 

Life always teaches me how to become more loving, compassionate, and kind. Everything I do, I do for love alone. Giving love makes my heart sing. 

My children taught me how to become a better cook. Raising them, I have learned how to prepare international cuisines–French, Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, American, and definitely Thai. My cooking skills have improved over the years. 

Each child had a favorite lullaby. I sang a different song for each one of them every single night after reading their bedtime stories and kissing them goodnight. 

When I became a Cat-parent for JJ and Peaches, Michael’s Ragdoll cats, they expanded my capacity to love. I had never dreamed of cooking for cats, let alone singing them lullabies, massaging them, and scratching their chins. 

There is an enormous sense of satisfaction when I make our fur babies happy. Their purring sound is music to my ears. Just like little children, our cats love listening to lullabies and being tucked into bed. Their favorite melody of all is the song of HU.