How to Become a Magnet of Love

Reading Time: 4 minutes

By Pichaya Avery

Dear Wonderful Readers,

Are you yearning to love and be loved? Would you like to attract more love into your life? If your answer is “Yes,” I have some tips to share with you. 

Here are three essential keys to becoming a magnet of love.

1. Be Filled with Love

“Don’t hold on to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.” 
—Leo Buscaglia

When I was seventeen, my heart was full of rage, bitterness, and resentment toward someone close to me. I discussed it with my grandmother and told her that I wanted to seek revenge against the man who had broken my heart. “Always do good karma,” was her reply.

Obediently, I took her advice. As a result, I shifted my focus from revenge to my love for music and began writing songs about my broken heart. Since then, I have been practicing doing good karma every day and finding new ways to fill my heart with love.  

I am now fifty three and have found a new way, which is sharing my heart with you here on this platform. This is one of my greatest joys. Thank you for reading and leaving your comments. (I am smiling at you now.)

In any given moment, we always have a choice. Will it be love, or will it be fear? The answer is clear—it is love and only love. 

2. Be Truly in Love (with Yourself)

“Love is always bestowed as a gift—freely, willingly and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love.” 
—Leo Buscaglia

It is a wonderful feeling to be in love. We are blissfully happy and excited about life. We appreciate, adore, and admire the person we love. We give selflessly of ourselves to our circle of loved ones. Why? It is simply because we are truly in love.

But what about the one we see in the mirror? 

For over four decades, I was unable to find anything positive to say about myself. The storylines were filled with negativity: “I AM ugly, stupid, and fat. I AM not good enough. I AM unworthy of love.” No wonder I pushed love away.

I disliked myself so much that suicidal thoughts crossed my mind multiple times, but Divine Intervention saved my life. I was reminded in a moment of despair, “Life is worth living.”

“You need to learn to love yourself.” I was told.

Since then, I have been practicing my new mantra: “I AM love.” As a result, I have learned to love myself more—to the core of my being. I recognize my true identity beyond the physical body, the mind, my financial status, marital status, occupational status, personal history, or educational background. I AM an eternal being—I AM love, itself.

Through self-realization, I have fallen in love with myself for the very first time.

3. Be Open to Love

“Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself.”
—Leo Buscaglia

To love is to give. To be open to love means being willing to give unconditionally, first to ourselves, and then to others. The more we give, the happier we become. The happier we become, the more love we attract into our lives.

My mother taught me the secret of love at a very young age—the art of giving. She is loving, strong, generous, gentle, and very kind. Every day, while growing up, she showed me how to love.

When I was six years old, my mother managed a small restaurant. As her little helper, I observed how she interacted with customers. When she sold her homemade delicacies—stir fried dishes, curries, soups, and salads—she always added one extra scoop to every customer’s plate or bowl.

Out of curiosity, I asked my mother one morning, “Why do you always give people extra food? How do you make any profit?”

“The secret of living is giving,” she replied with a smile, her eyes shining. “It’s fun to give,” she added. “It makes me happy.” My mother’s reward was joy, not money.

“Do you remember what grandma said?” She asked.

I nodded and responded, “Always do good karma.” 

Kissing me on my forehead, my mother remarked, “The love we give away always returns to us a thousandfold.”   

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We yearn to love and be loved. Yet, often we ignore the person who deserves our love, attention, and respect the most—the one we see in the mirror. True love begins at home.

As a former school teacher and current life coach, I love questions. They stimulate discussion and creative thinking. If you are interested in becoming a magnet of love, I invite you to enter the chambers of your heart and ask yourself the following questions:  

Self-Inquiries: How to Fill My Heart with Love

1. Is my heart filled with love? On a scale of 1-10, where am I? 

2. What does a heart full of love look like? 

3. What does it feel like? 

4. What makes me happy?

5. What one positive, uplifting, and inspiring  thing am I willing to do today in order to bring me joy?

Self-Inquiries: How to Be in Love with Myself

1. What does it mean to be in love with myself?

2. Why is self-love so important?

3. What do I say when I talk to myself? Is it loving, gentle, and kind? 

4. Are my storylines filled with negativity, judgements, criticism, complaints, or condemnation? If so, what can I replace those words and thoughts with, in order to love myself more?

5. What one thing am I willing to do today to express self-love?

Self-Inquiries: How to Open My Heart to Love

1. What does an open heart feel like?

2. What is holding me back from opening my heart?

3. What one thing am I willing to let go of in order to open my heart more to love?

4. What one thing am I willing to give to myself freely today?

5. What one thing am I willing to give to others today without expecting anything in return?

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Our life experiences are very fascinating. For every step we take, there is a treasure to be found. Everyone we meet has something valuable to teach us about loving ourselves and others as well. 

Let us embrace this journey of love fearlessly, with an open heart and childlike attitude. Let us fall in love with ourselves again and again, so that we can love others even more. When we learn to love ourselves completely, we can then become magnets of love. This love is not limited to romantic love, but extends to all life—family, friends, animals, and nature. When we love each other more, we can make this world a much better place.

With love and gratitude,

Pichaya