If Not Now, When?

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By Pichaya Avery

Dear Friends,

“The time for life is now. The time for love is now.
The time to do it is now, not tomorrow.”
—Leo Buscaglia

One powerful way the Universe communicates with us is through inner guidance. Learning how to recognize Its messages, we can be directed toward the right path, meeting the right people, and doing the right thing. Awareness is key.

What would happen if I didn’t follow my inner guidance? I wondered. One day I learned, and the price was extremely high.

“Will You Be There?”

Once upon a time, there was a friend, whom I’ll call Nora, who came into my life during one of her dark nights of the Soul. Nora loved to write. She poured out her heart as she shared with me her heartaches, troubles, and pain. 

She wrote letters three times a week and emailed twice a day. For two years, I replied to over a thousand correspondences. When she needed to talk, I was always there.

One autumn morning, I received another letter from Nora urging me to attend an event in town. “I really want to see you. Will you be there?” She requested.

At the time, I was going through chronic depression and struggling with Bulimia. Returning her phone calls and responding to all her mails required more time and energy than I was willing to do. As a result, I didn’t reply to her latest letter.

A week passed. Nora called and left a message pleading for me to be at the event she had mentioned. She also asked in her trembling voice, “Please call me when you get a chance.” 

I didn’t return her call, because I was drowning in a swamp of personal dramas. Then, I heard a familiar voice. It was the inner voice that has always been with me since I was a little girl.

The message was clear: “Call Nora now.”

But I didn’t follow through.

Even though I knew it was important to call her, I retired for the evening and told myself, “I will do it tomorrow.”

That night, I felt a knot in my stomach and tightness in my chest. I tossed and turned. I was concerned about Nora and replayed the message from my Inner Teacher in my mind several times.

The next morning, my phone rang. Thinking it was Nora, I immediately picked up the phone. But I was wrong. It was Josh, Nora’s boyfriend.

“Nora committed suicide yesterday,” Josh informed me.

I gasped in disbelief as a jolt of electricity surged through my entire body. I couldn’t find the right words to properly respond to what I had just heard. I took a deep breath, gathered my thoughts, and replied to Josh in my shaky voice, “I’m very sorry.”

And that was the end of our conversation.

 A New Mantra: “I’m Here for You”

In the days, months, and years that followed, I blamed myself for Nora’s death and other things I had failed to do. Guilt and shame were my constant shadows. It took a tremendous amout of inner work to forgive myself and finally make peace with my past.

From this experience, I promised myself to “be there” for all my friends in times of need, if only just to listen. I learned to set aside my own dramas in order to better serve others. Most importantly, I learned to trust the messages from my inner voice—no matter how subtle—and immediatley follow through on Its guidance. 

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I would like to conclude this post with a poem cited by Dr. Leo Buscaglia and a video of his about love. The principle of the following poem can be applied to all human relationships. I hope his message can open your heart more fully to love, not tomorrow, but now.

With love and gratitude,
Pichaya

“Things You Didn’t Do”

Remember the day I borrowed your brand new car and I dented it?
I thought you’d kill me…
But you didn’t.

And the time I dragged you to the beach and you said it would rain.
And it did.
I thought you’d say, “I told you so.”…
But you didn’t.

And the times I flirted with all the guys to make you jealous, and you were.
I thought you’d leave me…
But you didn’t.

And you remember the time I spilled blueberry pie all over your brand new car rug?
I thought you’d smack me…
But you didn’t.

And the time I forgot to tell you that the dance was formal, and you showed up in jeans.
I thought you’d leave me forever…
But you didn’t.

Yes, there were lots of things you didn’t do. But you put up with me,
And you loved me,
And protected me.

And there were so many things
I wanted to make up to you when you got back from Vietnam…
But you didn’t.