Lagom

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Guest Post by Dennis Ernst

It was July in eastern Washington and the early fruit was just starting to ripen. One of my Native American coworkers mentioned to me his uncle had a huge cherry tree in his backyard that was ready to pick. The old man loved cherries but was hoping someone could use some before the birds got them or they fell on the ground. As I love fresh cherries, I told him I was just the guy that could help him with that.

The next weekend I loaded up my long extension ladder, buckets, boxes, and went to see the uncle. He lived several miles from the nearest town on the Yakima Indian Reservation. I pulled up to his house, which was very minimal, and just like my coworker said, there was a huge cherry tree, towering in the backyard orchard.

The uncle met me as I was getting out of my car and wanted to make sure I was the person his nephew was sending. I complimented him on the very fine cherry tree and his small orchard. He was very proud of all of it and showed me around. When we finished the tour, he told me to “take all you want but no more than you need.” Then he left me to my task.

His words caught my attention and reflected his Native American values. Just enough, but no more, was my own value. This was my agreement with spirit that I had brought to this life. It is an ancient rule of keeping the balance and shows up in many cultures.

The fact that humans have unquenchable thirst and insatiable appetites is not new wisdom. It’s found in early Vedic texts, in Ancient Greece, and in most of the world’s religions today (most starkly in Buddhism, Hinduism, and Jainism). But in the Swedish idea of lagom (lah-gomm), it has been given fresh life.It’s an idea that might change how you see your life.

Lagom translates as “just the right amount.” It means knowing when enough is enough, and trying to find balance and moderation rather than constantly grasping for more. Lagom is that feeling of contentment we all get when we have all that we need to make us comfortable. It’s neither a millionaire’s splurge in Vegas, nor a pauper’s cold winter night. It means having a roof over your head, food in your belly, friends at your back, and money—just enough money—in your pockets.

If Goldilocks had a catchphrase, it would be “let’s lagom this bear house.”

There are two separate strands to lagom. The first is a kind of social awareness that recognizes that what we do affects other people. In this, we might see lagom more as a kind of “fair use” policy. If you take three cookies from the plate, two other people aren’t going to get one. If you hoard and grab everything you can, elbowing and cursing your way to the front of the line, then at best, that makes you a bit of an ass. At worst, it leaves others in ruin.

The second strand, however, is a mental shift that finds contentment in satisfaction. Many of us have internalized the idea that bigger means better, that a bank balance means status, and that excess means happiness. Lagom, though, is to enjoy the “just right.” It’s not simply learning to “enjoy the simple things,” but also appreciating that sometimes less really is more. Lagom is knowing that enjoying the now of what you have does not mean you need to add more of it. After all, talking to a friend over a coffee is nice. But meeting with ten friends after ten coffees does not make things better. Lagom is to accept this and to let the fact deepen.

Here is a different look at the lagom concept:

The Art of “Good Enough:” Understanding Satisficing

Satisficing is a decision-making strategy that involves settling for a satisfactory solution rather than the optimal one. It’s a portmanteau of “satisfy” and “suffice,” coined by Nobel laureate Herbert Simon in the 1950’s. Simon recognized that humans often lack the cognitive resources, time, or information to make perfectly rational decisions in every situation.

This concept stands in stark contrast to maximizing behavior, where individuals strive to achieve the best possible outcome in every decision. While maximizing might sound ideal, it’s often impractical and can lead to decision paralysis or chronic dissatisfaction.

Think about it: when was the last time you exhaustively researched every possible option before making a choice? If you’re anything like me, the answer is probably “not recently.” And that’s okay! Rational behavior doesn’t always mean optimal behavior.

Lagom is not abundance, but it is sufficient. Could you be happy and satisfied with lagom? If you are not sure, what would being satisfied with lagom look like. What would it take to live that way? You are enough.

Back in the cherry tree, I chose to pick the very top as I could see the old uncle didn’t have a tall enough ladder and wouldn’t be safe up there. I picked a small box of the very best, the very sweetest cherries just for him.

I was just taking down my ladder when he came out to check on me. He grinned from ear to ear when I handed him the box of the very best cherries. He asked me, “what are you going to do with them?” I told him I planned to can several quarts so I could enjoy them all year. They were sweet enough not to need any sugar syrup and I mentioned that I sometimes put a stick of cinnamon in each jar to give it a little spicy flavor. Some of them I would pit and mix with other fruit I had growing around my house and make some fruit leather.

He said he liked cherries both ways but had never tried adding cinnamon. He also said he was getting old and wasn’t doing any canning anymore. I thanked him again for his generous gift and told him I would be sure not to waste any.

A couple week later I visited him again to off a few quarts of canned cherries, with cinnamon, and some fruit leather. He was very surprised and pleased. I told him that if he needed help picking any more cherries or any of his other fruit, to just let me know and I’d be glad to pick for him.

As I was leaving, he said he hasn’t met many white people that really understand and could see why his nephew liked working with me. I told him that “just enough” is when we all help, we all share, and we all enjoy.  

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Dennis Ernst is a retired Professional Land Surveyor who now devotes his time to sharing the natural beauty he finds on his many treks through photography, blogs, and poetry. Please visit his website, Dennis Ernst Photography, for a glimpse into his fascinating world.