Navigating the Waters of a Long Distance Love Affair

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Guest Post by Vicki Rose

I have been excitedly waiting 3 months for this day and it finally arrived!  It was November 5, 2018, and I was in the bustling Miami airport, at the gate, about to board a fully booked flight to exotic Havana, Cuba, to visit for 30 days. The majority of passengers were beautiful Latino people of all skin tones, colorfully attired, kids in tow and speaking crazy fast Cuban Spanish.

I was going with my female Cuban friend Ursula whom I had known for about 9 years.  She is a petite 5 feet tall, curvaceous, 80+ year old blonde who, at the time, didn’t look a day over 45-50 (plastic surgery in Cuba is free….you gift the surgeon money, or a nice watch, or good cologne, or his favorite whiskey). She was dressed in a form-fitting, yellow flowery, knee length dress and smart gold sandals and jewelry. I, a curly, long haired brunette, 5’4”, was in tight jeans, a tank top, jean jacket and navy sandals, and silver bangles, rings and things.

Seated on board, and belted in amidst jovial, cocktail drinking fellow passengers, we were off and on our way for the very short flight into Jose Marti Airport, Havana.  Everybody clapped and cheered when we touched down! Deplaning directly on the concrete tarmac at the gate, the heavy tropical humidity immediately engulfed our faces and bodies. 

 Whoosh! We had arrived!

We were met outside customs by Ursula’s son Mario and his driver.  We piled ourselves and luggage in a van and took the wild ride through Havana’s crowded street jam packed with lots of cars, bikes, buses, pedestrians, food carts, hitchhikers, tarot card readers and outdoor markets.  We headed to Mario’s house in Miramar where we were to stay with him, his wife Yuni and 5 year old son Fabi.

My reasons to go to Cuba were simply to experience the island’s people, music, culture, swim a lot, and to dance, dance, dance!  Boy was I in for a big surprise!!

Miramar is Havana’s most upper class neighborhood, and we were informed that Mario’s house was less than 100 yards from the water.  Couldn’t have been more idyllic for me!  I have always been a water person, part “sirena”, or mermaid, since my birth on Galveston Island in Texas.  The ocean and all its creatures call and come to me!

We entered through Mario’s full-to-the-gills garage, winding through motorbikes, arrays of tools, gasoline cans, cleaning supplies, washing machine, many metal and wooden things hanging from the ceiling… you name it, it was probably in that garage. 

We were greeted by a soft spoken, very thin, dark skinned, unassuming, quite handsome young man with a baseball cap, who has an unforgettably sincere, white-toothed wide grin who was sitting in the garage doorway stoop calmly smoking his cigarette. “Hola, bienvenido a Cuba,” or “Welcome to Cuba.” That was Mario’s cousin Alain, or “Primo,” as everyone affectionately called him. I called him that until 4 days before my departure on December 6. Primo was visiting from his small home town, Sagua La Grande, which lies some 150 miles east of Havana. He had come to help his cousin with home repairs and maintenance.

From arrival to my departure, Alain and I formed a natural and strong bond of friendship which I believe is truly essential for a long term and successful  relationship between any 2 people! 

He worked during the day while I was exploring Havana, sightseeing, shopping for food and fun, becoming a real family member of my hosts (helping with all domestic chores), interacting with neighbors and making friends. At night Primo and I watched movies, talked into the wee hours about everything (life, family, friends, philosophy, music, personal and familial topics and issues), and we laughed a lot.  

Totally enjoyed each other’s company!  In the evenings after dinner, Alain would accompany me down the street to the famous Karl Marx Theater where outside in front folks gathered to get the internet connections to talk to family on friends all over the world.  He met my mom and sister online on FB Messenger video, a treat for them and both Alain and I. One night we went out to the famous Casa de la Musica de Miramar to hear great live salsa music.

Well, the story of how Alain went from being “Primo” to “Mi Amorcito” is another one too long to write within the confines of this article!  Suffice it to say that it is a super INCREDIBLE and lovely story that I will soon be writing. Mind you, as crazy as it might sound, my sweetheart is 40 years my junior.

Four days before I was to leave Cuba on December 6 for my home in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Alain and I fell into a love affair which endures to this day (with the essential communication aids of cell phones, the internet and  WhatsApp video). Fast forward: he arrived at my home in New Mexico some 3 years and 10 or so months later on September 5, 2022.  And the story continues to teach and amaze me!

But the goal of this writing today is to specifically share my major opinions and suggestions of how to assess and maintain a long distance romantic relationship.  These ideas apply to partners who initially meet each other in any possible way, including on the internet, and usually reside quite far from each other, making physical meetings challenging.  The following ideas are in no particular order of importance.

1)  Always beware of internet romances
2) Ask a lot of questions from outset and throughout all stages of knowing one another
3)  LISTEN intently to each other
4)  Be aware of some major red flags or scammers:

 * one person does not want or refuses to engage in a live video meeting with
        the other party or their family members
 * very vulgar language
 * over glamorization of the attractiveness or intelligence of the other party
 * request for funds (to rescue them or someone they know from family or
         work related losses or accidents, legal or banking issues, etc.)
 * incongruences with accents, meeting or talking time or communication
         equipment failures

5) Always insist upon meeting the new friend’s family or friends on live platforms
6) Travel as much as possible to see and interact with the other person and his/her family face to face
7)  Engage in visual, rather than auditory intimacy

In conclusion, no matter how ideal or idyllic you think your romance is, until you live very close to or actually with each other, reserve final judgement or serious commitment to your partner.  This will better insure against personal losses of all types, and for a much better outcome and smoother sailing!

So with no warning, but with an open and loving heart, the most blessed surprises of love can appear in our lives to delight and engage us!  Let’s always be ready for those unique and new experiences!

Copyright 2024 Vicki Rose  

Vicki Rose

I am a psychic/intuitive consultant who has been successfully using the ancient, exquisite Chinese divination system, I Ching, along with pendulum dowsing and tarot, for more than 4 decades to support, inform and empower myself and my clients in all areas of life. My tools and gifts assist me in providing spot-on insights regarding relationships, career/business strategies, finances, geographical relocation, health, family issues and more.

I strive for depth, delight and accuracy in each session. I have been published in the Albuquerque Journal and Truly Alive Magazine. Among many hobbies which I enjoy are exotic tropical plants, gardening, exercise, reading, films, poetry writing, exploring hot springs, music, and Latin dancing. I have lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico, since 1996 and am bilingual in English—Spanish.

Please see more on my website: vickirose.net.
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