The Day I Forgot to Breathe In God’s Love

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Guest Post by Linda Higgins

In the past, I didn’t always keep my attention on breathing in God’s Love and consciously living each moment in the Light and Sound of God. This story is about an intense waking dream experience that was given to me for my spiritual growth.

Ten years ago, my husband, Bill, and I went scuba diving off the shore of the island of Curaçao. During one of the dives, I got in trouble because I forgot to sing HU (an ancient name for God) and keep my attention focused on Divine Spirit and on God’s Love. I totally lost control of my mind!

On almost every diving trip before this one, Bill and I went with our friends, who are very experienced divers.  They always would lead the way on the reef and I would be following, spacing out, looking at the pretty fish and underwater critters and coral. Just floating along, going with the flow and having a good time. I was not being diligent, and I didn’t pay much attention to the direction we were going. It is very important to always have a dive plan in place for each dive, and I was having too much fun and did not follow that rule most of the time.

During the trip to Curaçao in 2014, Bill and I were on our own. On one of the dives, my ego prompted me to be the leader. I thought I knew where I was going on the reef. We had been there many times before. I wanted to dive near shore first so we could see the sea turtles under the fisherman’s pier. We normally don’t dive there because there are a lot of people walking on the pier.

I wasn’t trusting Bill, my dive buddy, because I thought I knew it all!  I was too intent on exploring and leading the way. My ego and a sense of superiority took control of me! Well, this strategy did not work for me because half way into the dive I became confused and forgot exactly where I turned when we went down into the deeper water on the reef. I was not where I thought I was when it was time to return to shore and ascend.

After we turned around on the reef to come back, I kept thinking a tall underwater landmark statue of King Neptune was coming up soon so I could turn left and head toward shore. I couldn’t see King Neptune because I was not at the correct depth. My mind started telling me I was lost. When I checked my scuba air pressure gauge, I noticed the tank was low on air and I became anxious.

Then, my focus and rational thought processing totally vanished. I found myself full of fear because I had opened my consciousness to a full-blown panic attack. When you are diving, you cannot let fear overtake you; it is very dangerous when you lose control.  Many people have drowned because they were in a panicked state of mind.

At that point, my heart was not open and I wasn’t thinking about God or breathing in God’s Love, or how I am always safe and protected by the Love of Divine Spirit. I was only thinking that I was running out of air and that I could stop breathing at any time!

I should have relaxed, sang HU to calm down and asked my Inner Teacher for help! Singing HU would have raised and spiritualized my vibrations and put me in instant contact with God’s Love and my higher self, Soul. But I chose to lose this trust when I panicked and I allowed this horrible fear to take control of my mind.

Then, a voice in my head started screaming at me, “You are almost out of air, you are lost and you will die!” 

Oh my God, what was happening to me? I felt a deep terror overtake me.   While I was blindly swimming underwater, my thoughts turned to what kind of funeral service they would have for me, who would attend, and I hoped they played my favorite songs at the service! I even created a scenario where I was getting angry because my wish for the favorite songs was not being followed. It was crazy.

I had created a vision of my death within a few seconds! I am amazed at how fast this happened! I also wondered if anyone would miss me after I drowned.

As the Fight or Flight response hit me, I started to hyperventilate and swim very fast. That is not a good thing to do when your air tank is almost empty because you use up your air faster.

Looking back at this situation, the logical thing I should have done was to calm down and ascend to the surface slowly and look toward the shore to see my location. I also could have turned to Bill (who was following right behind me) for help. But I was terrified and couldn’t think. I felt like I was suffocating in the fear I created for myself!

Eventually Bill came up to me and he led me back to shore safely, but there was almost no air left in my tank when we returned. He knew where we were all the time because he always pays attention when scuba diving and he stays level headed.

This experience was scary, but it was a wonderful growth opportunity for me and taught me some important lessons. The first is that I always need to trust Divine Spirit, focus on breathing in God’s Love and keep inwardly singing HU so I stay connected with the Light and Sound of God. 

Secondly, I learned that I must pay attention to which direction I came from, remember the landmarks along the reef where we have to turn, use my compass, and trust my husband, who is my diving partner. Trusting your partner is one of the first rules they teach you when you learn to dive and you must do this on every dive. The third lesson was to always use self-discipline and never panic.

I even had a compass with me that day to help me navigate, but I was too vain to use it! I realize that humility is a key virtue I need to practice at all times because I always get in trouble when my ego takes over.

I am very grateful for the gift of this experience which caught my attention in a dramatic way. I am grateful to Bill for his love and patience with me as he watched me go through this crazy experience. It taught me that I need to keep my heart open to Divine Spirit, listen to my spiritual guide at all times, pay full attention to where I am, and also stay filled with God’s Love and breathe it in without giving in to fear.

Linda Higgins is happily retired after working for 21 years as a customer service specialist for an online retailer. She is a long-time member of the Eckankar (the Path of Spiritual Freedom) clergy. She loves sharing the HU (an ancient name for God and a love song to God) with people and telling them how they can experience God’s Love and Spiritual Freedom for themselves in this lifetime.

Linda’s favorite volunteer job is at the local Humane Society where she serves as a cat cuddler/cat socializer. It is a wonderful privilege for her to have fun playing with the cats and giving them love and comfort.

Linda is married to Bill and is a mother, grandmother and servant to the 3 formerly rescued shelter cats, Kona, Loki and Bean, who run the household. She loves to stay fit by swimming every day and finds being in the water very healing. She also enjoys kayaking, biking, hiking and cross-country skiing on the beautiful trails in the nearby state parks, and sometimes will bring one or both of her granddaughters along for fun.